I am in the crux of organizing, of list-writing. My mood swings pendulously between excited and terrified. Gone are those days of fun travels flying first class (alright, premier economy) enjoying a $5 glass of wine and listening to the latest movie droning from the in-air entertainment screens. Now we have a baby in tow, and I’m scurrrred, people.
To keep you up to date with our travel situation, here’s a heads up:
* I have one dress for the wedding, plus shoes, but no accessories. I have shoes for the christening but no dress.
* Seren has one dress for the christening (obvs), plus socks and hairband, but no shoes.
* Daddy has a shirt, tie and jacket for the wedding, but no pants. God knows what he’s doing for the christening.
When the frigg did we start forgetting how to dress ourselves?!? We’re the regular odd-bod family now.One last weekend to search for the missing articles of clothing, or else we’re screwed. And what kind of idiot throws away a pair of pants and keeps the matching suit jacket eh? Men, I’ll never understand ‘em.
The good news with all this failed planning is that I haven’t had the chance to start hyperventilating over the real issue that will be my travel terror. Flying itself. I’m terrified of it, wholly and truly terrified. Look, here’s the deal or at least as I see it:
- New planes = Safety with me. American Airlines have old planes. American Airlines recently announced they are buying 460 new jet planes (200 Boeing, what we’ll be flying on). Therefore American Airlines have really old planes. Really old planes = fly at your own risk cos you might end up swimming in the freezing Atlantic at 3am (Titanic-style), and you better hope your whistle and flashlight work. I’d rather not end up like Jack, know what I mean?? Translation: We are all going to die.
- I absolutely MUST have a seat on the wing; when I board a plane I sit next to the window on the wing and I meticulously check the wing for a good 30 minutes for scratches/dents/wear and tear and make an assumption of how safe the flight is going to be on the basis of my findings. A clean and tidy wing = Safety. I also watch when the little things come out of the wing (I don’t know what they’re called for chrissakes!) to slow it down when you land to make sure they are not wobbling too much and/or are too rusty (if you don’t believe any of this, ask my husband. He has been the unfortunate spectator on countless flights and he takes the mickey every single time). I also watch the wings when we hit turbulence, just to check they haven’t fallen off. I have huge problems, I know. Anyway I don’t think we have wing seats, so we are all going to die.
- Flying at night is a completely different ballgame than flying in the day. Flying at night is more dangerous because the pilot/s can’t see a damn thing outside of their matchbox-sized windscreen and they therefore have to rely on sleeping Air Control staff for direction. Yes I still believe they navigate out of their windscreen, I’ve seen them cleaning it for gods sake! Why would they bother if they don’t look out of it? Think about it people. I can handle turbulence during the day, at night it is not an option. When there is night turbulence, we are all going to die.
I’m hoping Seren will surprise me and be an angel on the plane, but I’m trying not to kid myself too much. At least the night flight, through all its faults, should warrant a sleepy and (god willing) sleeping baby. Then there’s the almost 3 hour enjoyable journey of driving to Wales from Heathrow after we have landed. Oh and I almost forgot that we land at gate #3,265 so we have to walk the length of the airport before we even get to Customs. How exactly do we navigate Seren through the International Customs aisle and ourselves through the EU??! This, my friends, should be very interesting.
But let me change the tone by saying we are incredibly excited to see our friends and family again (and I know I shouldn’t start a sentence by saying ‘but’). We haven’t been home since 2009 and I haven’t seen my sister since last July. It’s going to be great to spend some time with everyone and for them to meet our newest addition to the family, Seren is going to be so excited – gosh I hope she sleeps at some point.
I guess I should finish up tonight with some pictures. Behold, Seren in her christening dress and hairband.
I promise I will take some decent pictures during our trip, I might even edit them.
If only I had more time on my hands.
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